Mark Gillett

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Posts Tagged ‘Belief

My thoughts…’limiting beliefs’

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The earlier post was an example of stopping short.  Her first right answer was to go to the gym.  Do something about her health and make change..  This on its own was a huge decision and probably the biggest and toughest one she had to make. However, once there she was stopping short of her real potential. She actually ended up doing the exercise 3 times and the first two she so nearly made it but something told her each time that she could not do the full 30 seconds.  Not until the intructor got so pissed did she finally relent and do it.  And even after that she was not totally exhausted.

Stopping short is always easier.  Its telling yourself that you have done most of it so you can stop there, no one will notice. And you would be right.  Most people would not notice.  They just think you can’t do it…  One of the comments on this subject pointed out ‘that her limiting beliefs were broken down’ by the instructor which is exactly it.  The method of breaking her limiting belief might not appeal to everyone but all the same it did get her to realise greater potential.

Coaching can help this in so many ways and not just by screaming.  Seeing what potential you have is often not so easy yourself but when you do realise it the options are endless……

Written by markgillett

February 2, 2010 at 3:34 pm

Posted in Travel

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Belief Post

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I have had a few comments or emails about the belief post which was a popular subject.

On Friday I met with Carlyle Jenkins at ProHab and it was interesting to talk about the same stuff in terms of healing, coaching and performance, and the effect that belief can have.  Also the things that can dent that belief and hinder performance.

In my coaching it is also the one element that usually needs most attention.  A non believer, or self doubter can change their mindset but it does take a process and is not always easy.  Identifying the cause of the doubt helps but also identifying what your inner beliefs are is also necessary. Unlearning learnt behaviour patterns that have led to self-doubt and re learning positive patterns can also be a key. It may only be doubt in one area of work, say presentations or public speaking that you believe you don’t do well and if this is a key area of your job it can limit your overall performance if not dealt with. If worked on it could underpin confidence in so many areas of work or life and suddenly your career moves like Concorde!

It is a vicious circle as success breeds belief and vice versa and it does not matter which comes first. A naturally positive person will likely succeed more often so this will reinforce their confidence and inner belief.  These people go through life more easily than others until of course something huge like divorce or a big work/career failure suddenly dents that security. And often it’s those who we perceive as solid, strong and unbreakable that can fall the hardest. They don’t believe that ‘all this shit’ can happen to them and when it does it really knocks them for six.  When disaster happens to the negative person, it’s just ‘another piece of shit’ they have to deal with.  It’s a bit like the recent financial crisis.  For the Brits and Americans it was a disaster as we have had it good for so long.  For the French it was just another one of those thats been happening every 3 years for them.  I spoke to an engineer from India recently who said the mental effect on the average Indian was zero.  They don’t remember good times even though their economy is steaming ahead so whatever growth they have now was better than what they had before and if they slipped into decline it would not really affect too many.

So what does this tell us? Should we all go and live in India so we don’t feel the pinch? Or move to France so we experience more financial meltdowns that when the big one comes we don’t notice it so much?

Well, of course we could but that would not be practical, however, it does tell us that it’s a state of mind and can be influenced or changed positively with the right messages around us.  There are many factors that help to give us a positive state of mind like fitness, nutrition, environment, weather and so on…

Working with our minds is just as important as working with our diet and overall has a far greater effect but for the best overall effect we need to keep all areas of our being tuned for the best performance. Check out Prohab some time too.  Site is above…..

Written by markgillett

February 1, 2010 at 11:00 am

Posted in Coaching, Life

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Belief vs Doubt

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Last night I posted about belief being the overriding factor in success.  I related it to the Marathon des Sables but it applies to everything we do, even illness. People who go through life thinking they will never get really sick, rarely do.

There are some that belief comes to naturally, they just feel they will succeed in what they will do.  Then there are those who naturally are doubters and there are so many factors in the pot that shape our inner self that by the time we are adult we just settle for who or what we are. “Oh I couldn’t do that” say the doubters, and the believers just do it or move on to something they can do.

The Marathon des Sables is a good example of believers. Naturally just by signing up there is a good chance they are a believer and most make it.  Even those who hide the fact that they are believers by down playing themselves will have inner belief and succeed.

Completing a marathon or the MdS is not that difficult when you really come down to the facts.  You have everything you need to survive, water, food, shelter and you have transport.  Your feet.  So why fail?  What is it that shapes the believer or the finisher vs the non finisher.  And what is it that rocks our belief when it was so strong in the first place?

I think in these scenarios preparation and management are the key factors to maintaining your belief and being able to adapt when something goes wrong.  I had a dreadful first day on my MdS.  I cramped at night, had headaches and new I had overcooked it. Day two I had to change my mindset and plan.  I did and maintained my belief.  By the end of day 2 over 90 had dropped out all ready because of the heat and excessive humidity.  I too would have gone if I had not adapted.

I truly believe that 99% of the people I meet could do a marathon or more.  The one key element tho is ‘want’.  If you do not want to do one or its not really a priority then the chances are you will think you cant.  So the trick in becoming someone with self belief is finding that something that you really want to do.  Then put the blocks in place to do it. Build the foundation. When you have finally achieved it your inner belief will grow immensely.  Then you need to find something else you really want or continue on the path of the first want and expand it…..  Its about not stopping at the first right answer but finding the next, and the next..

In business if you don’t really like your work, job or people around you, you will not be driven to success.  Change your environment.  Take a leap an go find what you really want.

Our lives and belief are shaped much by what we see on TV and in the media.  We see true believers all the time but they come in the form of Blair, Bush, Hussain or Hitler…… Its in the news daily.  Or we read the tabloids and see the excesses of celebrity. We read it and watch it but do we really want to be like them? So because of this bombardment of rubbish media we see that to be a believer and full of power is not a good thing.  But if we had more exposure to people like Branson, Tony Robbins, Gates, Sir Alan Sugar and people like that on a daily basis then we might see the good in being full of self belief.  Self belief can and is good in most cases, we just don’t see the good ones enough….

We can shape our belief and strengthen it in many ways. If we surround ourselves with like minded people, people with positive mindsets we feel better and we perform better.  A good office environment promotes good productivity. Get a coach. We naturally call a coach if we want to improve our golf or tennis.  Why not for your mindset?

Most human beings are very much the same, similar worries, similar dreams, we all eat at similar time a day, we all wake up and go to sleep at similar times and we all die when we are old.  I recently saw some images of masses of humans all naked.  It was weird because suddenly we look like a heard of wilder-beast and recognising faces became difficult.  They were stripped of their identity which is essentially their clothes and hair style. The raw human is really quite the same.

So if we are all so similar there is no reason we cannot be like those we perceive to be more successful or leading fulfilling lives.  There really is not much that sets us apart.

I just started looking through some library shots for believers I know or have worked with or seen on the MdS.  I found so many so take a look at a few of them above.

Some had their belief to begin with, some have had it grow through good work.  Some of the youths you see are bereaved and had their world rocked.  They now have huge belief back in their lives. Its all in the head. change that and you change so much….. Oh, and there is one lemon in there too.

You might also like to read my account of the MdS

Written by markgillett

January 29, 2010 at 10:51 am