Mark Gillett

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Making Change….

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So often you hear about making a change in your life.  “Live your dream not someone elses” Just heard that one in a cafe! “Live life to the full”, and so on…. But this is invariably said without too much thought or that its easy just to make a change and be a better person.  A person who loves him or herself.  A person who is not taken for advantage anymore.

Changing is far greater than that though. Most of us have learnt habit patterns over years.  Since childhood we have been learning to be who we are. Learning to act and react in the  way we do. Mostly subconsciously but always from the people around us and closest to us. We take for granted that that is the right way or the best for us. Mostly we dont event think about it until certain triggers in our lives have an effect. We then question our behaviour or actions. We question our being…

So, to make a change to life long habits cannot be done in a day.  The decision to make that change itself can take time. You recognise something you do not like, you need to change but another year goes by. Something else happens and finally, snap!  Its when you get that snap that the toughest part of the whole process begins. You decide to change. Some people make conscious decisions and follow through with good positive actions.  Some need help to get them through the process but what is most important is to recognise that change will take time.  Change requires unlearning and re learning new habit patterns. Getting use to those new ones can be a real roller coaster of emotions so requires real dedication. Dedication to the task. Without one can easily slip back to what they know best….

Someone close to me stated recently how it would all be different after a certain date.. Wow! I wish I could know that. I wish I could say ” everything will be fine after the 17th”.  You simply cant. Whatever the situation. You cannot say if you will slip back or if you will have made that change.

When learning a new skill you go through 3 stages of learning. Cognitive (Beginner – learning the skill or behaviour) associative (aware and practicing new skill) and automotive. You know it and do not think about it anymore. Maybe address it from time to time and check for bad habits creeping in but essentially you are there.

A simple analogy is changing you grip on a golf swing or a technique change in your tennis game.  You need to go through all those stages before it finally works. The easy route is to give up and slip back to what you know best and just say “well that didn’t work”.  But that is just a cop out.

Making change is good.  It can be hugely beneficial to you and the people around you. It is never guaranteed but the only person who can make the decision is you. It can also be a fun process…….

Making a life change is the same as making a skill change.  You need to go through a process and practice this and practice is more until it becomes final  This can take years but often does not with good work.  More in a bit….

Written by markgillett

February 21, 2010 at 3:15 pm

Posted in Coaching, Life

One Response

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  1. Great article. Using short term goals to focus efforts and set targets to review progress is a useful tool.

    Sean Chapple

    February 21, 2010 at 8:50 pm

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